the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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