I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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