which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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