i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
