I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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