Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
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I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
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If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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