No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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