She said her name was "party"
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
