He had one of those small greek statue penises
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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