I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
