So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
