you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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