I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
