So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
