so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
