he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
