Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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