why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
