They should really pass out barf bags in church
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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