so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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