My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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