The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Dear god my vagina.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize