Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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