Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
