how can u be prego again
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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