I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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