good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
