She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
