I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
