did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
