standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I need mimosas to revive my soul
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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