Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
