Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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