Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
