Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
