I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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