I wanna bring you to show and tell
false alarm. still invincible.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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