She is in my trunk
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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