she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
