I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
