Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
