What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
