This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
