Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
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