I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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