then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
