It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
