she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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