Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
not ubering you a puppy
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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