Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
