I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
