He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
