im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
