I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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