ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
