I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize