Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize