I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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