there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
