Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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