just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
