This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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